So last week I gave a bit of insight into the inner workings of my mind. Fun times!
I shared this story because
a) I share that which I most need to learn,
b) I wanted you to know if you have a similar dialogue, you’re not alone, and
c) I wanted to mix shiz up a bit. It’s how I roll…
Hopefully the imagery of ushering your inner critic (IC) into the hammock was helpful.
If so, hooray. Class dismissed.
But if you’d like to delve a little deeper, read on.
Who’s running the show?
- If you ever hear yourself being mean, unkind or judgmental about yourself or others…
- If you’re comparing yourself to others and feel anxious or smug about how you stack up…
- If you’re feeling weighed down and the word “should” features heavy in your vocab…
Then your inner critic (IC) is hogging the limelight.
The good news is, IC is not you. It’s just a part of you that has launched into gear as a protective mechanism. IC believes that perfection equals safety so if you do anything that seems risky or worthwhile your Inner Critic will arc up to prevent you from taking action because they don’t want you to get judged or hurt.
But what if you really do want to do that thing that’s risky or worthwhile? How do you get past that bitchy voice?
Kindness is the key to connecting back to your true authentic self.
Kindness tranquilises the critic, because they’re just trying to protect you. Once IC feels safe and calm, you can get back to living your life of awesomeness and get shit done. Everyone wins.
Now, occasionally, IC will push boundaries. IC will ignore the hammock and will keep yelling, “but, but but…” and launch into another tirade of all the things that are wrong, or that could go wrong, or why you’re not good enough. Tip: NEVER argue with IC. You just add fuel to the fire.
Assert your boundary firmly and with kindness. Example, “Stop. Hammock time”. *dewn noo noo noo noot, nuh noo noot noo* Or if you have no idea who MC Hammer is and why that joke is so funny - “That’s enough. Off to the hammock” could work too. Find your firm kind mantra.
How to deal when you just ain’t feeling kind
When your feeling empty or drained (because IC is a total buzzkill), try this tip to connect through the heart. Think of someone who brings you utter joy, who is easy to love. I used to think of my cat. Worked like a charm every time. I could fill my heart up with love for my beautiful kitteh and then expand that love into a calm connection back to my authentic self. Ahhhh.
How do you connect back to your true self when the inner critic is shouting at you? What do you say to them when they’re being nasty and judgemental?