A Love Letter to the Shapeshifters, People Pleasers & Approval Seekers

loveletterImage credit: Mandy Lynne Photography

I used to think I was a sponge, absorbing other people’s opinions until I was so sodden I couldn’t move.

No original thought in my head. No unique song in my heart

There was no mental dexterity, no propulsion. Only cumulonimbi of confusion.

Sound familiar?

This love letter is for you.

Dearest comrade,

There is a chance for your unique brilliance to emerge.

The most powerful question to become exquisitely attuned to is “What do I want?”

And this ain’t no frou frou decision, no frivolous undertaking. This is raw, honest, heart cracking, spirit searching, self inquiry.

You are not a wisp or a shadow. Not a sponge, nor carbon copy. You aren’t even a reflection of those around you.

Right now, there is a kernel.

A seed of a being sequestered under layers of persona soil.

And in order to pause the influence of the shapeshifter; to halt the hand of the People Pleaser; to quiet the quest of approval being sought and to grow the seed of your true self into full bloom?

I offer you this.



No heavy handedness or self critique.

But a gentle guidance system of faultless wisdom - a homing pigeon…a satellite…magnetic north.

It begins with permission, travels through worthiness and ends in deep self acceptance.

To begin the awareness, the honouring of the sweet whispers (or even the loud bellows) of what it is that is true.for.you.

Even if it begins with the painful ache of “This isn’t what I want”, “This is NOT what I signed up for” or a mere utterance of “Uh-oh”.

I implore you to drop judgement. This is a fantastic place to begin. These signposts are here to remind you a way back home to yourself.

Trust them.

Trust yourself.


You really do have everything you need, right within this precious moment.

To figure it out.
To make a decision.
To walk away.
To stay.
To have that conversation.
To say ‘No Thank You’
To say ‘Yes Please’
To say ‘I don’t know’ and to leave it at that, without explanation or apology

It is ok to want to do your best. It is more than fine to care about the outcome. But let praise (for all our sake’s) be the cherry, not the sundae; the pat on the back, not the purpose; the delight but not the drive.

So claim your dreams, follow that inkling of an idea, allow yourself your needs, and revel in goddamn ecstasy.

Because you are so very worthy of your desires. You were BORN worthy.

These words are a pouring out of one shapeshifter’s heart to another; one recovering people pleaser; one (mostly) ex approval seeker. These words are inspired by my beautiful clients who are claiming back their power. These words are a reminder to myself.

With the deepest of bows to you,


PS - Do you know someone who struggles to stand tall in their truth? Be a darling and share these words of encouragement with them. It might just be the thing they need to read today.


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2 Responses to A Love Letter to the Shapeshifters, People Pleasers & Approval Seekers

  1. Katie - Conquering Fear Spiritually (CFS) September 6, 2020 at 3:46 pm #

    So beautifully written- thank you my lovely- xx

    • Tahlee September 6, 2020 at 3:58 pm #

      Thanks Katie! xxx

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