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How to silence your inner critic (Part 2)


So last week I gave a bit of insight into the inner workings of my mind. Fun times!

I shared this story because

a) I share that which I most need to learn,
b) I wanted you to know if you have a similar dialogue, you’re not alone, and
c) I wanted to mix shiz up a bit. It’s how I roll…

Hopefully the imagery of ushering your inner critic (IC) into the hammock was helpful.

If so, hooray. Class dismissed.

But if you’d like to delve a little deeper, read on.

Who’s running the show?

  • If you ever hear yourself being mean, unkind or judgmental about yourself or others…
  • If you’re comparing yourself to others and feel anxious or smug about how you stack up…
  • If you’re feeling weighed down and the word “should” features heavy in your vocab…

Then your inner critic (IC) is hogging the limelight.

The good news is, IC is not you. It’s just a part of you that has launched into gear as a protective mechanism. IC believes that perfection equals safety so if you do anything that seems risky or worthwhile your Inner Critic will arc up to prevent you from taking action because they don’t want you to get judged or hurt.

But what if you really do want to do that thing that’s risky or worthwhile? How do you get past that bitchy voice?

Welcome home
Kindness is the key to connecting back to your true authentic self.

Kindness tranquilises the critic, because they’re just trying to protect you. Once IC feels safe and calm, you can get back to living your life of awesomeness and get shit done. Everyone wins.

Now, occasionally, IC will push boundaries. IC will ignore the hammock and will keep yelling, “but, but but…” and launch into another tirade of all the things that are wrong, or that could go wrong, or why you’re not good enough. Tip: NEVER argue with IC. You just add fuel to the fire.

Assert your boundary firmly and with kindness. Example, “Stop. Hammock time”. *dewn noo noo noo noot, nuh noo noot noo* Or if you have no idea who MC Hammer is and why that joke is so funny - “That’s enough. Off to the hammock” could work too. Find your firm kind mantra.

How to deal when you just ain’t feeling kind

When your feeling empty or drained (because IC is a total buzzkill), try this tip to connect through the heart. Think of someone who brings you utter joy, who is easy to love. I used to think of my cat. Worked like a charm every time. I could fill my heart up with love for my beautiful kitteh and then expand that love into a calm connection back to my authentic self. Ahhhh.

How do you connect back to your true self when the inner critic is shouting at you? What do you say to them when they’re being nasty and judgemental?

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How to silence your inner critic (Part 1)

This is pretty much an exact conversation between my Inner Critic and my Authentic Self. Holla if it sounds familiar!

IC: Excuse me

AS: Hmm.

IC: Excuse me.

AS: Yes. What is it, I’m working.

IC: Look at her. Look at that girl over there.

AS: Yeah?

IC: She’s prettier than you.

AS: So?

IC: So. Just saying is all.

IC: Look, there’s another one. Ohmygod, look at her, she is smoking. God I wish we had legs like hers.

AS: Can you just shut up! I’m trying to get this done.

IC: Why?

AS: Because it’s important.

IC: No I mean, why are you bothering? There’s all those other people who’ve already done it and they’re way better at it than you are. See! They’re really popular, and beautiful and funny and gorgeous and skinny and popular. People love them and hardly anyone even knows who you are, you can’t compete with them. They’ve ALREADY DONE IT.

AS: *Sigh* I feel like what I’m doing is really important, because I want to help people connect to their truth, like others have helped me. I’m trying. I really am.

IC: But you’re not good enough yet, you haven’t even lost heaps of weight. You still struggle with food, you still binge sometimes, you don’t workout enough EVEN THOUGH you work as a PT, you’re not walking your walk when you’re talking your talk and people will see straight through you. You’re a sham, a charlatan and you’re not even skinny, so how can you even talk about being healthy!

AS: GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I am outta here!

*watches Once Upon A Time whilst eating bag of crispy M&Ms*

*Days pass. Speaks with very lovely and understanding, insightful therapist.*

IC: Excuse me.

AS: Hello.

IC: Hi. Watcha doing?

AS: Writing a blog post.

IC: What?! What the hell! I already told you not to bother because people aren’t going to…

AS: (with firm kindness in my voice) Stop.

IC: Eh?

AS: (soothingly) It’s ok. Come here.

IC: Pardon?

AS: Come over here?

IC: What’s that?

AS: A hammock.

*crickets chirp*

AS: I made it for you. Go on. Lie down in it.

IC: Why?

AS: You’ll see.

IC: Hmm. *swings gently* This is…this is fun.

AS: Yes. Now take a deep breath.

IC: Mmmm, it’s quite soothing.

AS: Yes.

IC: But what about your work? You’ll need someone to check it. I mean, you won’t get anything done if I’m not there.

AS: Shh. It’s ok. I’ll look after it for a bit, you just chill out.

IC: You sure?

AS: Positive.

Stay tuned, next week I will reveal a more detailed strategy on how to deal with your inner critic when they’re getting on your nerves.

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