This isn’t a real post. It is complete navel gazing. But I needed to write from the heart.
Today I am grieving. Today I am heartbroken. Today I lost my beautiful cat.
Compared to the many greivances and suffering in this world, the death of a pet seems small. But my partner and I loved her, and I know she loved us. We all had a very special bond. She was our furbaby.
She possessed many qualities which I aspire to. She was intensely curious, actively playful, very gentle, and lovingly affectionate.
We named her Neko-chan (which is Japanese for kitty-cat). We rescued her from the RSPCA when she was 11 months old in February last year. So I know that for at least half her life she was loved and taken care of. I think she was grateful to us for that, and I am grateful for the joy she brought to our daily lives.
These are the very small ways I am trying to cope with the very sudden loss.
- Remembering the joyful times. Neko-chan had a very playful and gentle nature, and we all shared many happy memories together.
- Remembering that we rescued her and gave her love. Many other animals aren’t that fortunate.
- Having a bloody good cry. Every now and then I am overwhelmed by tears and it helps me let them out, rather than bottling them up.
- Using distraction. Like writing this post for example.
- Remembering to breathe and “sit in the tension”. Pain and grief are uncomfortable, but sometimes we have no choice but to be in it until “this too shall pass”.
This pain has very much triggered my desire to binge like crazy and numb myself with sugary sweetness. I’m trying hard to find other ways to comfort myself. If you have any other tips or strategies on how to cope with loss, I’d love to hear them.
Again, apologies for the self-indulgent post. I will write a real one soon.
Thank you for understanding.