Archive | March, 2013

Revolutionary Review: Daring Greatly


I’ve been so inspired by Brené Brown’s work, I decided it was high time to share with you why.

A bunch of you have probably seen her TED talk on shame and vulnerability. And you may have even seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.

{If you haven’t, please click here immediately to watch a free streaming episode (I’ll wait) because Oprah loved her insights SO MUCH that she invited her back to do another episode straight after!}

How amazing is she?!! Her book Daring Greatly really opened my eyes to how much shame has been a part of my identity. Breaking free from the feelings of unworthiness and building shame resilience is a huge part of my healing.

What it is:

An insightful and practical guide to living authentically, wholeheartedly and courageously, based on Brené’s twelve years of research.

Daring Greatly shows you why vulnerability is a powerful and vital component of human connection. It helps you understand why vulnerability does not equal weakness, and that when you embrace imperfection - you can live your life of awesomeness. As Brene says “vulnerability is at the heart of courage, compassion and creativity”.

There’s also a lot on how to recognise shame and how to build ‘shame resilience’ when you get triggered by feelings of unworthiness. Powerful stuff.

Why I love it:

It’s based in science but is so accessible. Brené doesn’t rely on statistics to make her point, rather she engages with powerful and transformational stories from her years of research.

Why you need it:

If you (like me) identify as a shame based person, this book is an eye opener. See, guilt says “I did something bad”. Shame says “I am bad”. There is a WORLD of difference between these two concepts and shame is highly correlated with eating disorders.

When you do a 180 on shame, your world is opened up to possibility.

So if you’d like to release the total drag that shame holds over your life, and pick up some tools to build the confidence to be vulnerable, open and authentic - please get yourself a copy ASAP!

{Full disclosure – the links contained in this review are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and decide to purchase, I get some thank you money. There is no pressure to use these links to purchase the book.}


Access All Areas! Your pass to go live your life of awesomeness


Inner Bully, Inner Critic, Monsters, The Shadow.

Call it what you will, there is a nasty voice inside your head that holds you back. Sometimes there’s more than one.

No, not the voices telling you to kill all humans.

The ones that keep telling you you’re not X* enough. {Substitute X for good, pretty, thin, rich, smart, funny, buff, tall, petite etc)

For years mine told me that I was fat, ugly, worthless and above all - unlovable.

Seriously. Un. Love. Able.

I was nearly “16 and never been kissed” while all around me friends were dating, flirting and falling in love.

The first person I ever fell in love with didn’t reciprocate.

Between 16 and 20, I could count the number of people I’d kissed on one hand. My best friend ran away. A boyfriend cheated on me.

All this was “evidence” that I was so flawed no one would ever want to be with me. Because my Inner Bullies are excellent at gathering evidence. They’ve honed it down to a fine art.

Every single gram of weight gain was proof of my fat failure. Every scorned love, another notch in the bedpost of unworthiness.

But guess what? I’ve finally figured it out.

Their evidence is false and their reasoning faulty which makes them a bunch of liars.

Here’s why.

As we evolved, our primal ancestors relied on the compliance of the group. Tribal leaders needed the collective to obey and cooperate in order to survive. Rejection and alienation from the group was pretty much a death sentence. Literally.

So our brains are hard wired for social approval.

This results in us being incredibly wary of risk taking - particularly if it involves potential social rejection or perceived humiliation.

So your Inner Bully will make up all kinds of stories to keep you safe because it’s terrified. Every shred of emotion and data gets fed into the story to “prove” it’s factuality, when in actual fact, it’s fiction! Fear fiction.

Ergo - your Inner Bully keeps you safe, but they also keep you stuck and small.

And really, that’s just not a life. Sometimes you need to take risks. Hell, sometimes you really want to. But you probably won’t if you keep listening to that bitchy voice.

I was discussing these very concepts with a friend recently and shared one of my favourite Inner Bully analogies from Tara Mohr.

She brilliantly describes the Inner Bully as “the security guard at the edge of your comfort zone

As my friend and I were reflecting on this, we discussed how we needed a way to get out of the “safe-stuck-and-small” comfort zone.

And my very clever, wise, insightful friend said “We need to show the security guard that we’ve got permission to get out. We need an Access All Areas pass”.

Cue laughter and high fiving!

Yes, yes we do. We all need an Access All Areas pass for those times you want to bust out of your comfort zone.

Aaaaand here it is!

Access All Areas Pass

Click through for a printable image

Now your Inner Bully doesn’t get to tell you how to live your life anymore. Flash your AAA pass and go live your life of awesomeness comrade!

Do you have a friend who has big dreams but is held back by their Inner Bully? Share this Access All Areas pass with them and set them free too.

Top Photo by ~Sun-kissed-soul