Pampered? Narcissistic? Selfish? Are these the words that spring to mind when you think of the term “Self Love”?
You are definitely not alone.
Self love was a very confusing and seemingly unattainable ideal for me too, not that long ago.
So if you feel like self love is a struggle; is reserved for “princesses”; or is a total contradiction if you want to improve your life, think again.
Here are 7 principles of self love that will unleash your brilliance!
Real food really nourishes you - body, mind and soul. Forget the fads. Ditch the diet. Stop the deprivation, calorie counting and guilt trips around food. Choose the most natural, healing, life giving food that brings YOU joy. Prepare it with love and eat it with gratitude. You are among the blessed few on this planet, throughout all of human history, with such plentiful choice.
Exercise is crucial for your muscles, vital organs, bones and mental health. So moving your body in a way that’s right for you is definitely an act of self love. Find the balance of pushing past your comfort zone in order to progress whilst respecting the current limitations of your body.
It’s not just the sleep-eight-hours-a-night drill. Small, nurturing activities throughout the day, the week, the month and year help balance out the stress of modern life. Remember the Mastery of Feeling Damn Fine Everyday? Level 1 activities are your permission slip to replenish.
4. Self Care
What do you need in order to thrive? A weekly massage; a romantic date; art therapy; a ticket to see your favourite band; more beach days? Monitoring your levels of stress, managing your emotions and knowing how to chill is a big part of self care. When you say hello to pleasure, you farewell stress – and that’s good for you and EVERYONE around you.
5. Self Compassion
Dr Kristin Neff is the expert on Self Compassion. She breaks it into 3 main elements:
Self Kindness - being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self criticism.
Common Humanity - recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience.
Mindfulness - a non-judgemental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them.
6. Self Acceptance
Are you ok with who you are and what you need? Acceptance does not equal failure nor does it mean giving up on yourself. Quite the opposite. Self acceptance means you love yourself no matter what. Can you change, improve or progress? Absolutely. But in this moment you are still worthy of love exactly how you are. You were born worthy.
The courage to be vulnerable, to be truly seen and heard in this world for who you are is the most overt act of self love. Show up. Show us who you are. And let us love you for that. If we don’t, that’s our loss. But at least you got to say “This is who I am”.
Do you have a friend that struggles with self love? Give them permission to embrace it by sharing these 7 principles with them.
Image by chedoy